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Monday, January 09, 2006;


all the teachers are talking abt having only less than 6 month left. but i dont feel any urgency. i feel like im in sec3. i feel like playing blindmice and catching and having fun. i dont feel like studying. and i look at those who are really hardworking and i feel trapped. i want to get my a's, i mean who doesn't. but i know i have to work hard. but i dont want to study. its not that im addicted to playing computer games. i dont play anymore. thanks to the gerat yiting! (once again) i cannot stand it. i look at the computer and my homework/studies i'll go to my computer, knowing that my homework lies there undone and my tests are not studied for. i've been given the chance to continue a math and here i am blogging instead of studying for the test. if i fail mr teoh would surely regret letting me continue. is this how i repay him?! im such an ungrateful brat. :(

and its hard. its hard being a born christian. you go to church ever since you're young. you dont really object when you're young cos your parents still decide for you. and when you grow up and have a mind of your own, its hard. really. people think its easy for born christians. yes its true that we dont have parental objections and stuff but sometimes we ourselves have objections. because if you convert to a christian, you decided it for yourself. not that your parents have brought you since young. i know that in other countries people risk their lives just to go to church or worship him or even pray. and i dont know why cant i just go church. its not very difficult for me cos my parents can fetch me. i have it easy and i know it but im not doing anything. yes and its hard to have parental objections too. to even believe. and sometimes you're not even given the chance to believe. i nv shared the gospel with anyone. i nv brought non-christians to church. i dont worship him weekly. i dont read the bible. i go to church rarely. imma lousy christian. :(

to summarise this whole entry, i'm lousy. just plain lousy.





:]


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